My Story

My story has been long in the making, and I fear will be even longer in its completion.

I hesitate in explaining the events surrounding my divorce from my first wife since that is not truly what this site is about.  However, I do feel that some of what occurred during that process is relevant to the story if only to indicate the beginnings of the pattern which now consumes my life.

It was a pleasant spring evening, the sun had set, and I had just finished putting my three children to bed.

My wife (at the time) had gone to choir practice at church.  We had just returned from a surprise weekend getaway that I had taken her on for our anniversary.

Before leaving I had been having trouble with my web based email, and had used our home email to request support.  I sat down at the computer to see if I had received a response, and that is when it all started.

At the top of the received email was an email regarding our little adventure received by one of my wife's friends.  My curiosity got the best of me, so I fancied a look.  To my amazement, my wife was enraged that I would take her away on such a trip, and hinted that she would have had "better" things to occupy her time.  After a little more searching I discovered an affair that had existed for two years.

At this point the story starts to develop some oddities.  I probably should have seen the proverbial "writing on the wall", but that was not the case.  I stayed in the home, because I wished to remain the integral part of my children's life that I had always been.  She also decided to stay in the house.

Things got strange as I attempted to take the kids to school and other events.  I discovered shoes, coats, back packs, etc. were missing.  I would find these in the dryer, cupboards, and even hidden behind bushes.  It seemed she was taking extraordinary measures to remove me from their lives.

In the end, it was the mediator who brought this to its unfortunate end.  You see, the mediator informed me that it was impossible for me to gain any custody of my children aside from what my wife would offer me.  He told me that there is no way in which the court would offer me any time with my children aside from the normal every-other-weekend scenario aside from her offering it.  Reluctantly, I succumbed to his pressure.

After the divorce is when I discovered the slow and methodical change in my children's lives.  This is the point where the concern for my children reached its present fervor.

You see, my daughter was diagnosed as ADHD.  This in its own right seems fairly insignificant, and even common place in this day and age.  However, that is not where it stopped.  My daughter started a long path through many different ADHD medications.  Then there was the addition of anti-depressants to deal with the side effects of the ADHD medication.  Next came the unexplained joint pain that had her seeing specialists around the country.  This was all capped off by frequent infections and other illnesses.  In fact, If you looked at my insurance records, you would be astounded by the frequency of visits that occur.

Now, as I take a step back and look in, I see the pattern that has existed since my daughter was very young.  I am now concerned for my daughter's well being, but have found that evidence required to prove this is nearly impossible to obtain.  This is where my quest began.

I now have committed myself to a path of freeing my children from what I believe to be a dangerous environment for them.  I do not wish to remove their mother from their life, but now as I see the same patterns beginning to develop with my younger son, it is impossible to overlook.

There is another story that could fill the pages of a book.  These pages would be full of colorful imagery and beautiful prose.  Yet this book would not do justice to the beauty that is my new wife.  She is the true pearl of my life, bringing unimaginable joy to me.

However, there are other men out there who care for their children very little, or at the very least are unwilling to take any responsibility for their welfare.  One of these is my beautiful wife's ex-husband.  This man has very little desire to have any involvement in his children's lives.  In fact, he cannot even remember when their birthdays are (I mean the actual date not whether he extends birthday wishes).

Her ex-husband also goes through extraordinary lengths to avoid supporting them in any way.  If the state manages to track down his current employer, he simply quits, moves on to another job, or works "under the table".  Seizing tax returns is also fruitless since he has not filed taxes in many years.

All of this has brought me to where I am now.  A man dedicated to the well being of his children both by blood and by marriage.  Now in doing so, I have decided to share my story with others in hopes that together we can all make a change in the upset lives of children everywhere.  It has become apparent to me, and if you went or are going through a similar process, it is/would be apparent to you as well that the bureaucratic system of government has completely stripped the law from its ability to address the children's needs.  It has been lobbied into a situation that profits a few at the expense of the most vulnerable.

If you are interested in donating to this cause click here.  I endeavor to make a difference in any way I can.  For my own children's sake and for all others in a similar situation.  Please check out the other resources and links on this site.  You may find them a good resource if you are in a similar situation.

If you have a story you would like me to consider adding to this site, just email me here.  I cannot promise that all will be added, but I strive to add those I feel will lend insight and courage to those in similar situations.